Six months today, I said "good bye" to my favorite person, my dearest friend, my husband. He died suddenly. After having him as my "better half" for 51 years, I am truly now just half a person. There is no way to describe the loss, the hole in my heart, the hole in my life.
Things that were important to me aren't any more. Things that held my interest bore me. I used to spend hours looking at blogs, reading blogs, looking at cards by other card makers, entering challenges. I haven't made a card these six months. I used to make several a week but I can't conjure up any creativity yet. I can't even get myself to color with my Copics.
This grief process is hard and long. I wonder daily how am I going to live the rest of my life without him. I miss him and I miss what we would have shared together. But in my intense grief, I take refuge in the Lord. He is my Comforter. He is the One I turn to multiple times each day. He knows my pain; He empathizes with me. I know He will take me through this Valley of the Shadow of Death and eventually I will come through the valley to joy again. The journey is hard. I don't like it but God has allowed it, so I do choose to not give in to despair.
I will be back - some day. Just not yet.